Let me list the ways I love my Bailey:
He likes to bring in the morning newspaper, but only on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, because these are the smallest papers of the week…although he does put forth a valiant effort the other days, they are simply too heavy for my little Peek-a-Poo.
He keeps my tootsies warm by lying his floppy body on them [this is a very good thing since my feet seem to have quite poor circulation].
He protects me from all the crazies out there by barking his lil’ head off [i.e., every morning at 4am he warns me that the paperman is coming by throwing his wee 17-pound body against the living room window. I don’t know if it strikes fear into the guy who delivers my paper, but it sure scares the shit out of me].
Whenever I come home from anywhere [be it five minutes or a week], he looks at me with his cow-eyes with such love and devotion [I’m positive it must be illegal in Idaho].
He’s gay. He always has a crush on my boyfriends, never my female friends. He works his hot little ass whenever he walks by any of my guy friends. Bailey turns up his nose to any girl-dogs, but loves boy-dogs. …and, get this, he’s even jumped up and licked a boyfriend’s penis whilst in transit to the kitchen to find us a drink, much to the repulsion of the guy. My sister’s a lesbian, so Bailey being gay is welcomed with open arms in this family. I’ve even been trying to find him a rainbow collar [so he can come out to all his friends, just in case there’s a language barrier between breeds], but I’ve no luck yet.
As aforementioned, my pup’s a Peek-a-Poo, which is ½ Pekinese and ½ Poodle. This sounds rather strange, I know, but what’s stranger yet is that he doesn’t look like either of those breeds at all—he looks like a small Cocker Spaniel gone amok with a poofy, curly tail.
We share three of life’s most important activities: sleeping, eating, and playing.
He also uses pillows, or at the very least he’ll use one of his stuffed toys as a pillow. I’m obsessed with pillows…I even take a down one hiking 75% of the time [which is logistically a nightmare during the day, but oh-so-rewarding at night]. I think Bailey picked up on this and learned how to use one himself. It’s quite cute.
His job is to act as my shadow; good thing nature decided to make Bailey black…it goes well with his position.
Did I mention he keeps my feet warm? I love that.
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